OCD - Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Some would say those with OCD are crazy. But, as an OCD sufferer, I don't think I am the crazy one. Everyone else is. Ok, so I take some things to the extreme. But is it so wrong to want to kill germs that could hurt us? Or to have your books and movies in alphabetical order so that you can find them a lot easier? And I'm sorry, but the dishwasher HAS to be loaded in a certain way or it doesn't work right! I've been known to be very anal about certain things. So the family has adjusted and they don't just slap the movie or book back on the shelf, they don't load the dishwasher, and they know to wash their hands after using the bathroom and before they eat...plus when they come in from outside, when they've been to someone else's house...

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder is a disease that makes a person have an obsession that turns into a compulsion to do something that will take care of the obsession. For instance, the most common...washing of the hands. You have this fear of germs that makes you feel that if you don't continually wash your hands those germs could kill you. I've been known to carry little bottles of hand sanitizer where ever I go, just in case I can't get to soap and water. There are bottles of this sanitizer in my purse, my car, my husbands car, and I've been known to force my children to keep a bottle in their pockets. The need to constantly keep my hands sanitized comes and goes. As does my other little obsessions. However, I do have some that don't go away. For instance, the dishwasher. I know (don't ask me how I know, it's an inner knowing thing) that if the plates are put anywhere but on the bottom shelf to the right they won't get clean. If I have more plates than there are slots for them there, I can put them to the bottom left. My spoons HAVE to go in the front slot to the left, the forks to the right. If they go anywhere else, they won't get clean. And if I open the door and find dishes out of place I will hold them back and put them back in there to rewash, even if they look clean. I know (it's that inner knowing thing again) that they are not clean of all the germs. I also have to use a cleaner with bleach on my kitchen cabinets. I stock pile Clorox Cleanup and bleach. It's the germ thing. I know that the only thing that will kill the germs in my kitchen and bathroom is bleach.

Sometimes, I get so obsessed with the idea that something is going to happen to my family during the night if I go to sleep. So I stay awake, all night, watching over them. If I fall asleep, something will happen to them and I can't let that happen. That comes and goes frequently. And it does drive me nuts from time to time, because I know it's just a foolish thought. But still....

There is no real known cause for OCD, but there are a couple of treatments. Medication being one of them. I've never really noticed any difference with medication. And it's gotten to the point with me that I just ride the wave while I'm on it. I know that the wave won't last long. And so far, knock on wood, I haven't developed an obsession to something so bizarre that the family couldn't handle it. They also just let me ride the wave. Although, my waves usually lasts for months at a time. The "experts" say that them letting me ride the wave is not a good thing. That they should encourage me to fight against it. But in my case, that may not be such a good thing. Doing so could bring on depression in me. So they choose the lesser of the two evils. Depression with me brings on suicidal thoughts, and so they do not want that. It's better for me...and them...if they just let me ride my wave.

Below are a few websites that might help you understand OCD a little more. But please remember, just because a person feels that they need to wash their hands all the time, doesn't make them a crazy person. People with OCD live normal lives otherwise. 

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